Hi haven’t wrote in awhile. I have a really hard time just sitting down and writing something… I guess anything is better than nothing. I need to get over the fact that the goal for writing this blog isn’t something cool for someone else to read, but it’s just a way to sort out my thoughts…Or actually think. I’m admitting I’m not a big thinker. I guess I do go through life without really questioning anything or really meditating on anything. But there’s no reason to accept this as a reality that I cannot change . I have a tendancy to say, “It’s the way I am” and to an extent it is: how I’ve been raised? my personaility? Excuses I know…but I know now that if I don’t like it why not change it.
I was trying to think of a way to change myself from being person who puts away their problems by doing mindless things to a person who actually thinks about I dunno…anything! Really thinking back, every problem I have I just try to forget it. The problem with that is that I don’t grow. Mistakes are repeated, nothing is changed, still unhappy, still the same old stupid self.
I guess it’s good to start small. I applaud myself for writing a blog. hahahaha. I’m just kidding. But I think I can utilize this blog for the bettering of Sooah. I thought of a number of things that’ll improve myself in different ways.
1. Spiritually I can get better by: posting up my own prayer requests to keep track of what I’m praying about. I hear it’s good to write prayers down for the future…and I have a BIG problem with writing in notebooks…it’s just very unappealing to me..haha. Unorganized?
2. Intellectually I can get better by: reading?! yeah I should read more about the news and current events and stuff. what’s a good site I can find news on? cnn? haha i dunno. I don’t really want to look up any news sites right now…I will if i have to, but I know Oppa you can recommend me some? :P After I read I should write a little something. How I feel, my own solutions on the topic, maybe trying to convince someone why I agree/disagree with subject matter.
3. I should write so I can just learn to speak/think better. Gain some confidence too. How would I do this. I think I can ask Paul for help on this. We were discussing maybe we come up with a topic and we both write something about it and share, every week?
1. Prayer:
-I need to pray to God for help in becoming the person that he wants me to be. I know that I’m not the way I should be right now. I KNOW this. So I pray that he show me the right paths and just for me to TRUST in him fully. I need to give EVERYTHING to him, b/c he knows what is best for me. Don’t resist God. Haha
-I pray for the cambodia mission trip. Just the members: Grace N., Grace C., Gman, Liz, Jay, Yujin, Hyunjung, Yoona, Meen, Rc, Christy, Ino, Michelle and the 2 geepsamneems…I suck with korean names/titles.. so I forget what to call them. I hope we can get closer with them too. The Cambodian people to be open and ready to hear God’s words, thank him for blessing us with great missionaries already in Cam. who’s making everything possible. I hope we can help them out as much as me can and not get in their way.
I’m tired. I’m out. Peace. 
